I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
