Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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