i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
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There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
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we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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