I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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