Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
