Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
