Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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