This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Success! We fucked roommates!
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
