Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
