It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Randomize
