I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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