if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
