I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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