I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
