the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
