fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
