Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I am mentally ready for anal.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
