Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize