I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
