I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
