How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
