Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I need water and some morals
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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