when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
