I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
