so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
We named our party play list daddy issues
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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