Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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