you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
