i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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