Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
