I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
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Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
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How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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