I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I haven't been this sober since birth.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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