i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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