hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
