How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
