well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
