so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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