So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
