I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
