I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Randomize
