if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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