Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
