so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
