walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
All the doctor said was why
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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