currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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