He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
