as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Randomize
