Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize