Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
