he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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