i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
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