Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
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Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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