why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.