Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye