how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Pooping to opera.
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