she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
