They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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