I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
