I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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