Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
