Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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