Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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