I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
