hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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