remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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