yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
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